Constant Companion: Frustration

It's been a while since I posted, mainly because I'm still dealing with a lot of pain, which while in some ways is productive for a writer, IRL is just a huge dark cloud hanging over me, literally hindering my every move and making writing feel like I'm climbing Mt. Everest. 

On a brighter note, I did make it to Toronto for Bouchercon 2017. So inspiring. So many fabulous authors, so many books, so many excellent panels. Fortunately, I was in the host hotel, which saved me a lot of walking, and the weather wasn't conducive to roaming the city. 

There is nothing like being surrounded by incredibly talented and creative people. Authors are generous with their time and advice and are genuinely interested in talking to their readers/fans. 

I came home fired up with energy, but woke up the next morning in such severe pain that I could barely move. Since then, it's been up and down emotionally and physically. Who knew that pain could be so exhausting? 

So, in closing today, in five days it's NaNoWriMo. I wish everybody well, if you're participating, and I'm hoping that I will be on the way to recover and less pain very soon. Meanwhile, I can try to write and if it sucks, then I can always rework it when my body and brain are once again friends with each other. 

Teaser

Writing is not getting done tonight, but I'm posting a couple of teaser pictures of locations that look like some of the settings in what I'm writing. 

Plot and Character

 "When I stall during drafting, or even revisions, I have to stop myself from focusing so much on the plot and go back to my characters."

This quote by @RaeAChang on Twitter resonated with me because I struggle with the balance of character and action. Too much in a character's head? Will my readers be bored? Do I need to have more action? Is this too much action? Will my protagonist get lost in the action? 

Finally, this advice made sense to me. As a writer, I want my readers to identify or at the very least, feel empathy with my characters. Yes, I want the plot to be thrilling, and involving. But my heart has always been character focused. 

The best is a balance. I hope i'm writing a well-balanced story; one with strong characters and enough action to move the plot along. Time will tell. 

Physical Therapy and Writing

One of my favorite fanfic authors wrote in a story the truest thing I have ever read about PT. 

"Physical therapy took everything he had to give, and some days it felt like it wasn't giving anytwhing back." (Relenafanel, "The Steve Rogers Problem, AO3)

Substitute "Writing" for "Physical therapy." So, so true. Some days writing is the same, you struggled to put the words on the page and they remain stolid and stiff and almost painfully inanimate. 

However, also like physical therapy, writing is an exercise and the more you do it, the easier it is. Sure there are setbacks, and sometimes the gain seems minuscule, but it works. 

I've been in PT for two weeks working on my back problems, and after each session, I think of the quote above. The next day, when every muscle in my body hurts, I wonder about the gains, but once the stiffness wears offW, I can tell I'm a little better, the pain is a little less. 

Writing will never be the easiest thing in the world, but it can be magical. The more I write, the easier the words are. Now plotting? Plotting is always a struggle, particularly when the characters want to take control. More on that later.

Word count: 51,735  

Pain and Gain

For the past two weeks, I've been in nearly constant pain from sciatica. So weird, but another sign that my body hates me. What does this have to do with writing? Let me tell you how pain helps understand the characters I create. 

There is an excellent essay on chronic pain and the Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino which tries to explain what it is like living with chronic pain. 

I've written a character who is a veteran in chronic pain from a traumatic amputation and PTSD. He's also homeless and in danger. While I can't write from the perspective of a war veteran with PTSD and an amputation, I can understand what it is like to be in pain, to be exhausted, and to understand how those two conditions affect your mental state. 

Pain is exhausting. It forces you do make choices between

living your life as normally as possible, or making decisions that you know you'll be paying for over the next span of hours or even days.

Yes, I went on vacation. Yes, I walked from Point A to Point B. I had to decide to limit my dosage of pain relievers due to my other medical issues, but I knew it would come back to haunt me once I was home. 

Now, waiting for the doctor, I can identify with my character who has to make choices between his limitations, his pain, his psychological deficits, and know that each choice is going to weigh on the others and tip his hard won equilibrium. 

You can translate your own limitations, whether an injury or illness or emotion to your characters to make your experiences part of theirs. 

Don't let your pain go to waste. Write it down and use it to make your character real. 

Inspiration and the power of Fan Fiction

When I was a little girl watching TV, often I'd decide that I didn't like the way a certain episode had ended, or wished it had been longer, or gone further. I loved making up stories based on these series and these characters. I didn't know I was writing or imagining what later would be recognized as Fan Fiction.

Years later, after having a soul-crushing experience with a literary agency, and a crisis of confidence in my ability to write and tell a story, I rediscovered the power of writing for a community about characters we loved. I experimented with genres, with AUs, with new styles of writing, and in doing that, I rediscovered my joy in writing. And talk about a boost in confidence, those words of praise and encouragement from fellow fans and fic writers were like cool water to a thirsty traveler. 

 It's been a long and circuitous route back to writing something that isn't fan fiction, that is mine, to a world I can play with as I choose. ironically, what started out as fan fic, is now completely different. 

I guess what I want to say is that creativity isn't linear. It winds its way through your life in odd and unusual ways, like a river flowing through the landscape of your life with its valleys and peaks and challenging terrain. 

Don't give up. Keep writing. Find a passion and enjoy the journey. 

I Persisted

It's been difficult writing over the last few days thanks to Trump. It has been breaking my heart. We should not be offering any apologies for Nazis, for white supremacists, for bigots. I try to celebrate diversity in my writing. It's literally nauseating to hear "Seig Heil," to see the swastika being flourished on our streets, to hear the hate spewing out of these people's mouths and their belief that they now have the tacit approval of the President of the United States. 

Maybe, at some time when my book is finished, somebody will take offense at what I just wrote. In that case, don't read my book. It will not break my heart if you don't. I'd rather be right than rich. 

'Nuff said about politics today. On to writing. 

As I said, it's been hard to focus, but I still surpassed 42,000K and 14 Chapters. I will keep on writing. 

Figured it out Ho

Yesterday, I discovered an error in my time frames. Overnight, I worked it out. I still have a plot hurdle to get over without sounding too Gothic because it's not that kind of story at all. 

I wish I could have written more, but I went to the eye doctor, got about 3 different kinds of drops put in, had three weird tests, and ended up with two silicone plugs in my tear ducts to keep the tears from drying up too fast. 

TMI, right.? Okay. No more about that. However, it does explain my sluggish word count. Which is ... 

39,416K

Hoping for more writing time tomorrow. 

Error or Fortunate Fail

You recall yesterday I wrote about being in a plot quandary. The good news is I figured out where to go with the story. The bad news is i wrote two great pages and when I was done, I realized it was totally out of sync time-wise with what I wrote yesterday -- which I might be able to fix fairly easily. 

The lesson today is not everything goes smoothly, but don't get discouraged. A mistake can be useful. It can make you think. 

Not a big word count today:

39,165K 

Hopefully tomorrow will be more productive. 

In a Quandry

I'm facing a plotting crisis in the next chapter. I might kill a minor character, or I might not. In order to move the plot forward, it's important that something dire happens. So, how dire should it be? 

Possibilities:
1. Kill the character
2. Give a protagonist a shock
3. Introduce a major player in the story

All are possible. All would work. Which is why I'm stuck. My advice to myself? Take some time, do some research, and then move on to what feels right. 

I have crossed the 37,664K Mark and have completed Chapter 13. That seems to be progress. 

No Words of Wisdom

No words of wisdom today, just the daily word count. 

36,264K Where did all those words come from? 

A Pause to Refresh ...

I've read many writers say that you should write every day, even if you feel like you're wading through molasses in January. It's true, writing something every day does keep keep me focused, but some days (Like today) I need to step back and take a breather, let my brain work on plot points, and not push myself to create something new.

I was busy today with mundane things around the house, felt a little worn out physically and creatively after my burst of wonderful productivity yesterday, and knew that whatever I wrote today wouldn't take the story where I need it to go.

That doesn't mean I didn't write anything. I did some editing on what I wrote yesterday,and added a bit to clean up the end of the chapter, which gave me I a clearer idea of where to go next. 

Today's lesson is, if I need a break, I should take a break and not feel guilty that I didn't produce 1500 words per day. However, using some of my time to read over what I wrote yesterday, clean it up and decide if my stroke of creative genius survived the endorphins produced by writing it. 

I'm not a professional, yet. But maybe I'm learning to think like the writer I want to be. 

Writing Away From Home

Today I had two choices: I could stay home and write or I could go out and write. It was one of those days when I knew if I stayed home, I would get distracted by a million things - housework, nap-taking (never a good option) Twitter, TV (I'm a Food Network and HGTV addict) and my cat, who is cute but occasionally needy and whiny. 

After running errands, including a stop at a local Farmers Market where I brought a jar of local honey, tomatoes and fresh ears of corn, I had lunch and headed out to find a place to write. Starbucks, right? 

Not so fast. I couldn't get my laptop to connect to the internet, so off I went to the local library instead, where I cranked out about 1,000 words before the chair got too uncomfortable. You know they make library chairs deliberately uncomfortable so you don't sit there too long! Get up! Browse those books! Glare enviously at the oeuvres of published authors ... 

I've discovered why writers hang out in coffee shops, aside from awesome caffeinated drinks. There's soft music in the background, the murmur of other customers, theI presence of other people on laptops. It's much easier to lose yourself in your story than it is at home.

So, where do you like to write? 

Tomorrow, a bit about my book and research. Meanwhile, here's a hint:

Word count: 34,046

For the last month I have been writing an original mystery novel. But first, a bit about me. I am a librarian, so I am surrounded by books; some good, some mediocre, and frankly, some awful. I've read extensively in all genres, but the one I'm most drawn to are mysteries and thrillers. I am not a "cozy" kind of writer, though I have attempted to write cozy mysteries and found myself bored to tears with my own writing! That's okay. It's not my style any more than humor is, or chic lit, or historical mysteries.

My favorite authors are Lee Child, Robert Crais, John Sandford, and Meg Gardiner. So, dark, urban and gritty are more my style that cats and teapots.

I've devoted most of my writing time in the past to Fan Fiction, and I'm damn proud of what I've written over the years. Some of  the stories are "Gen", others are most definitely not.

I've decided to write this blog because Twitter is too short to allow me to express my feelings about what I'm writing, or even try to explain what the darn book is about.

My latest word count, which I update daily is standing at 32,551 plus a few I added today. Here's hoping I don't run out of words before if finish the book More about that tomorrow!

So, welcome, readers and friends.

Joan (aka DresdenRose)